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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Shadows of Joy

Last night was filled with choosing a few wedding pictures to have printed, both for Brandon and I, and for our parents.  As I was flipping through the thousands of pictures (okay...1200: I rounded up) I was filled with so much joy.  Not only did I think back to how extremely happy I felt on our wedding day, I could see the joy on our faces and on the faces of our families and friends.  What a beautiful, inexplicable, overwhelming happiness it was, knowing that I was officially allowed to spend the rest of my life with a man whom I loved, but who also loved and cared for me in ways I didn't know were possible.  A man who made me want to be a better person, just by being near him.  Surely I floated two feet above the ground, taking in a day full of firsts as man and wife, and continue to as we live life together...

Now, there is a song called "Only a Shadow" that was sung at Chapel about a month ago.  The lyrics to this particular song struck me so much that I still find myself thinking about them, at least four weeks later.  It's about how as much as we love, believe, and dream--it can only ever be a shadow of how God loves us, has faith in us, and dreams things up for us.  

The very last verse of the song looks like this:

The joy we feel today, oh Lord 
Is only a shadow of your joys for us. 
Only a shadow of your joys for us 
when we meet face to face.

I think back to my wedding day and the joy I felt as I walked down that red-carpeted aisle lined with our family and closest friends in a lovely white dress towards the man I love. 

And that's only a shadow? Talk about powerful...

I have tried many times to wrap my head around the capacity of joy available when we meet God face to face if my wedding day was simply a shadow of it.  Attempting to imagine what this must feel like is incredibly overwhelming in an amazing way.  This love, this belief, this dream, this joy cannot be attained or even hypothesized while I am still human.  I do believe, though, that the tiny shadows of joy we experience are truly gifts from God and opportunities to share his love with others.  Everything which is good in my life is just a shadow of what can be in store for me when I meet Him face to face.


...what joy, indeed.