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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Happy Ashy Wednesday

First let me start out by acknowledging how long it's been since I've blogged.  

Alright, now that we have that behind us....

Since about two months into pregnancy, I have been grateful that Lent would fall within the nine months I happen to be carrying our first child.  While I absolutely love the incredible feeling of baby moving inside of me, and while I am overjoyed at the fact that such a miraculous feat such as housing a human was gifted to me, pregnancy hasn't always been the sweetest walk in the park.  

What has been extraordinary is the way the Holy Spirit has been using the various sufferings of pregnancy to bring me closer to God.  I have found myself praying my way through times when I was rather uncomfortable physically, asking Jesus to unite my suffering, minuscule in comparison, to His own.  Suffering is never for naught (why is this so easy to forget?), and in this case there's a baby at the end of this journey!  

Lent allows us to take time to recalculate where we are in our relationship with God, a time where we are encouraged to intentionally focus on prayer, fasting, and generosity--3 pillars we are called to every single day of our lives and that will help lead us closer to the Lord.  It's beautiful that there is an entire liturgical season dedicated to helping us refocus on what is important.  We are so human, aren't we?  Although just one year ago I had 40 whole days of Lent to reflect on my life, I ended up slipping back into some old habits and became aware of things in my life leading me away from God.  But here we are upon Lent once again, and these weeks of "accountability" are so helpful to me in my faith journey!

This year, the 40 days of Lent are within the last 58 days (give or take) of this pregnancy.  What better time to offer up the achey-ness in my back, headaches, cramps during the night in the back of my knees (seriously, has this ever happened to anyone else?!), sore neck, not being able to drink cabernet, numb hands, ribs being kicked, waddle-walking, swollen ankles...whoops...

So, you see, it's pretty dang easy to hop on the "complain-train" and think that a human growing inside of me also entitles me to gripe about my body.  Yes, it's very obvious to me how much of a blessing it is that Lent coincides with these last two months before we meet our precious babe. Such a blessing that I am intentionally reminded by the church what living like a Christian should look like.  Hopefully I'm able to continue to strengthen my trust in the Lord, lay my anxieties at His feet, and offer up the sacrifice of my body to Him, because only God can satisfy my deepest desires and hungers.