So it's been two months since I've posted. A lot has happened, including the first birthday of my son, and it really was a fabulous two months!
This hiatus showed me how much I actually think about blogging. I'd find myself coming up with all sorts of reflections and post ideas throughout the day and definitely missed posting. The time away also showed me that I have a lot of fears/doubts/uncertainties regarding blogging. Putting your thoughts and words out there for the whole world to see takes a bit of vulnerability. On the other hand, I found myself wondering whether it even mattered that I was taking a break. Did anyone notice? Does anyone even care?
I didn't take a break from reading my favorite blogs, about 60 of them in total. 58 of them happen to be mom blogs... I really benefit from reading what they have to say, feel I have gotten to know some of them through their words, and love the community which exists in the blogging world. But I noticed that often I was wishing and wondering if my blog should be a little bit more like theirs, almost envious of other's abilities and success. Comparing myself and the way I write, what my blog looks like, what I choose to write about...Yet, I never set out for fame or followers when I started blogging. This blog was born out of a wish to have my own little space on the internet to document what's going on in my head and my heart, with an emphasis on my God-given ability to look on the bright side, the blissful side, of life. Yet, I found myself constantly comparing and wishing I was more like who I am not. And you know what they say:
So I stayed away a little longer, knowing I couldn't return until my head was in the right place...until I was writing because I wanted to write, not out of a quest for affirmation or hope that others would read, and like, what I had to say. I needed to wait until posting could be joyful, for me, and not a hope of being a little bit more like someone else.
And so here I am. In a place where I feel like I just want to write, to document the things in my heart and head and try my hardest to be genuine, overcoming some of my fears and doubts and uncertainties about this whole blogging thing.
Until next time, sooner than 2 months from now this time...