The one whom my soul loves

Today marks two years since we took one another as husband and wife, in sickness and health, good times and bad. And what a wonderful two years it has been!

I am blessed by Brandon's presence in my life. He encourages me to be a better person than I was yesterday, guides me to grow deeper in my faith, is understanding, hard-working, and makes me laugh daily. Although we've had our share of hard times, I'm convinced that we can experience marital bliss forever (as long as we're willing to work at it!)

The groom can't see the bride before the wedding--but it sure was amazing to hold his hand! I felt totally at peace as soon as we were able to touch.

In honor of our second anniversary, I give you two "secrets" to a happy marriage:

1) Pray together.  Being vulnerable with one another in prayer and bringing our joys and concerns to the Lord, together, has brought so many blessings to our lives!  Sometimes praying it out resolves things 100x more quickly than talking them out. It's amazing to see the relationship we each have with God and how we have grown in our faith and spirituality both individually and as a couple since we got married.

2) Drink together.  We love coffee and wine and beer.  And the absolute best conversations happen over one of these drinks. Just taking a moment to sit across a table and not be doing anything except enjoying one another's company has proven to be so special to our relationship and so beneficial to our communication.

Today we celebrate all that we've experienced together and we look forward to many more joyful years in the future.

~Danielle

One more hand.

Sometimes Mondays are hecka hard.  And sometimes they're really swell.  Yesterday I got dealt a swell one.  Silas took a cat nap in the morning and was very pleasant when he was awake, cooing and chuckling and un-clingy. The only time he cried is when I took a sip of water while nursing him and it went down the wrong pipe and I spit water all over him and myself.  He wasn't really a fan of being spit up on, but neither am I really...oh, how the tables were turned.

We went to two different stores where he just looked around like a little sweetheart, allowing me to walk the aisles of Target for far too long, looking at plenty of things I'm sure I'll need for something someday.  In the afternoon he slept for 3 hours, allowing me to take a little catnap and get some things done around the house.  I feel like there are a bajillion things that need to get done after not being home for 9 days and so it was really nice to do like three of them without also holding a baby.

Do you see the glee emanating from this happy baby? What a blessed mom I am.

You know what I've been wondering?  If human bodies evolve over time based on what we need, why don't women of childbearing age grow a third or fourth arm?  How have we not evolved into octopii? I'd even be alright with an extra hand, really. Quite the visual--an armless hand just sticking out from some new place on the body. I'm not sure where it could go--maybe somewhere near the hip area so that you could use that one hand to balance the babe on your hip while using the other two hands to deal with life.  There really could be some sort of talent show just to show off what you can do while holding a baby, with extra points if the child cannot hold up their own upper body yet.  We have all of these reality TV performance-type shows...I definitely think that loading the dishwasher or making a bed or putting on pants while holding a child who is maybe crying or perhaps just dropped their pacifier or spit up on your shoulder takes the cake as far as talent is concerned. Momma's Got Talent.  and the judges would have to be grandmothers because they've "been there, done that" probably with at least 3 children, which obviously makes them the rockstars who know better than anyone else which momma's are really good at it and which could use a little more practice.  Seriously, though, have you ever tried to put pants on while holding a baby?  That is something designed for two hands. You either decide not to wear pants or leave the button undone. And by not wearing pants I mean put on a skirt, not walk around pantsless.

As you can tell I've been doing a lot of baby-holding, especially last week.  Which is probably why yesterday felt so glorious.  The boy slept during the day and it wasn't on my lap! He slept soundly and peacefully and like a little angel for 3 whole hours in his swing. I got my old Silas baby back! Yes, I was just a little bit excited because by now you understand that I've been doing a whole lotta baby holding in the last week of my life. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I dislike it...I'm just not so interested in training to be an Olymplic gold-medalist in it quite yet.  Not until I grow that extra hand.

~Danielle

Happy 4th of July!

Is anyone else awful at dressing for holidays?  Today I put on a pair of pink shorts and a black tank-top, obviously not very patirotic.  Last year on Valentine's Day I tried to wear pink, but got to work and realized my sweater was coral-at-best, if not more orange than anything.  Let me tell you, all that does is clash with everyone else's nice pink and red outfits.

I did get a kick out of dressing up Silas for his first experience of our country's birthday, though!  He had received 3 different outfits to don for the 4th! We went to watch the annual air show last night, so I put on his "Happy 4th of July" onesie (yes, on the 3rd...whoops)  This morning he immediately got put into an adorable striped romper-type outfit with a monkey cheerfully waving the American flag, as all monkeys should.  (Side-note: Are monkey's the new thing? So many baby gifts we have received are monkey-laden!  They're adorable, but I'm convinced it's the world's newest trendy animal.  Good-bye owl, hello orangutan.)   

Silas' diaper wicked out onto said cute monkey outfit, which gave us the chance to put him in his third adorable outfit of red, white, and blue!  I have to say, he quickly transitioned into looking like a little man.

We're playing it low-key this year and enjoying take-and-bake pizza and dominoes (the game, not the pizza) with our wonderful in-laws and another dear friend.  What I like best is having the hubs home for a 4-day weekend!

I've been doing laundry today which means now that I've realized how un-patriotic I am, I should go put on the correct colored clothing!

Bliss is...becoming the best version of yourself.

Today I was able to live out the kind of person I intend to be.  I will list some of the traits I would like to think I have, and how I exuded them today.


1) Spend quality, low-tech time with the people I love.
          My husband and I constantly reflect on the fact that we simply enjoy being around each other, and try to be productive while spending time together as often as possible.  We rarely watch movies or tv, because instead we enjoy making meals together, playing cards, taking a walk.  We appreciate activities that a) get us up and moving; and b) allow us to talk about anything and everything.  So, today, we worked for a few hours stenciling and painting our latest DIY project: our bedroom dresser.


2) Cook homemade meals.
          Today I made lasagna from (almost) scratch.  (The almost is because I did, in fact, use a jar of spaghetti sauce.  I do not carry the trait of sticking to strictly homemade everything, though, so this was just fine, as far as my day was concerned!)  


3) Plan ahead.
          I actually made one 8x8 pan of lasagna for us to eat this evening, and one 8x8 pan that is in the freezer for some other evening this week or next week.  Although planning ahead is something I do in many of the compartments of my life, food is not one of them.  Consistently it is 6pm on a weeknight and Brandon and I look at each other, stomachs a'rumbling, and have no idea what to make.  Many times we haven't even gone grocery shopping within the last two weeks, and so have no options except macaroni and cheese or a quesadilla...not quite the healthiest alternatives.  Today, though, I have helped solve that problem in the near future. 


4) Keep my home clean.
            Lately my lack of time at home means my lack of a neat place to live.  Today, though, I swept the entire main level, vacuumed the stairs, and vacuumed upstairs, as well as washed a rug.  Now, as if that wasn't enough, I also, for the very first time *drum roll, please* cleaned the kitchen as I cooked lasagna.  Including the dishes.  You must know that washing dishes by hand is my absolute least favorite chore at home.  I told my mom it's because of how dry my hands get.  She suggests wearing gloves....genius, I know! Until that time when I have gloves in my kitchen, washing dishes by hand remains my unwanted chore--yet I overcame it today! Yay for a clean kitchen!


5) Keep in touch with loved ones.
          While floundering around my kitchen in preparation for lasagna, I called my momma and we got to talk for about 40 minutes.  Chatting with her, about everything and nothing, is so refreshing to me and can instantly bring me back to reality when I'm feeling out of touch.  I so appreciate how often she listens to me babble on and on, and also how wise her advice is.


It's important to look for days like today. Days when you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be, appreciating the journey towards joy.

--Danielle

A Helpful Reminder

This evening I was reminded why I do what I do.


Lately I've been feeling a bit of bitterness bubbling up inside of me over a few issues that are truly "systems" issues.  That is, dealing with processes that would be very uncomplicated if they weren't covered in campus politics and red tape all over the place.  It seemed like every part of my job lately was laden with hiccups, and I was beginning to feel bogged down.


Tonight, however, reminded me that it's all worth it.  Students who are willing to take on leadership roles without pay, who are willing to cut their summers short, who are excited about the prospect of dynamically affecting campus and mentoring people they don't even know yet.  Students with motivation, leadership capabilities, compassion, and senses of humor.  A reminder that the work I do is not for naught. Truly.


During the seasons of life when we feel overwhelmed or burdened, it's helpful to take a breath and catch a glimpse of the beauty within the storm.  It's always there.


Finding those small treasures of bliss,
Danielle

Why I love my job.

Although I worked 9-5 and then kept working all the way until 11pm.

Even though I was gone from Thursday to Sunday with students at NACA.

I didn't actually get home on Monday until 9pm.

And I love my job.

Today part of my job was being present at a fundraiser where 6 excited students held an event that was attended by at least 60 students and raised over $300.

Today part of my job was laying out 5,000 prize-filled eggs on the football field and letting 375 students run and grab as many as they could when the lights went out.

Today part of my job was preparing for a program that could change the way students think about themselves and the world they live in (for the better!).

Today part of my job was being stalked by a student in a bunny suit.

Today part of my job was seeing the look on student's faces when they know the event they put tons of work into was worth it; that it was a job well done.

Bliss is doing what you love and loving what you do.  It is working 13 hour days, and living for the 13 second moments when students are proud of themselves and hopeful for our future.

fail.

So I found out about this really cool idea for April called BEDA: Blog Every Day (in) April.  I thought to myself, "What a great way to make myself commit to blogging.  I love writing and continue to wish for outlets.  I will triumphantly join the BEDA movement!"  


Now, as you may have noticed, today happens to be Tuesday, April 3rd, and here I am. Writing my first blog of the month.  And probably only my 3rd blog of the year.
Fail, indeed.


But today is exciting and hopeful nonetheless.  April 3rd marks 7 months of marriage for me and the hubs. Today marks one month since we moved into our house.  It is also the first time I've gone grocery shopping since we moved into the house.  Let me tell you...that makes for very creative meals.


I'm excited at the prospect of blogging daily about my journey towards joy. I've been noticing lately  that bliss can be uncomfortable and beautiful at the same time, and look forward to contemplating this in the near future.

Productivity on a Tuesday

Being productive is seriously one of the best feelings in the world, yet it's also so hard to be motivated enough to attain it.  Since we moved into our house on March 3rd, I have found a whole new level of motivation to get things done at home that I hadn't experienced in quite a while!

Last night I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get my gift-buying for the April month out of the way.  Three printed registries, 25 minutes at the check-out register, and 7 beautifully purple-wrapped gifts later, I am ready to give beautiful gifts to some of the loveliest women I know...and their grooms, of course.  

After bridal shopping extravaganza, I headed next door to DressBarn...where not one of the seven dresses I tried on fit.  The woes of being tall.

At home the hubby had bought wood to start our (his...? my list of...?) woodworking projects.  It's from a nearby area that used to be factories and is being renovated to be the Millwork District.  It's old and thick  and has tons of character...perfect for a "farmhouse" kitchen table and bench he's planning for.  Upon getting home I loaded a rice cake with natural peanut butter for dinner, poured a glass of red wine, and set my mind to getting a few small organization projects completed.

Formal dresses moved to empty closet: check.

Shoes arranged on rack in closet by color and style: check. 

Old shoes moved to attic: check.

Spring jackets moved to kitchen closet: check.

2 1/2 loads of laundry: check. (I had to dry the last load overnight...)

Dishwasher loaded and run: check.

Once Upon a Time episode from Sunday: CHECK!  (Warning, tangent ahead: This show is seriously so good...thank you brilliant writers for developing an incredible plot based on stories we're all familiar with and making the show scandel-less!  Three cheers for good ol' clean television.)

Ahh...So glad that I was able to accomplish so much as I look towards being out of town for work all weekend.

Lovin' life, 

Danielle

Why I love Sundays.

There is something indescribable about Sundays.

Maybe it's because it starts with church. 
Honestly, this morning was a doozy until I went to church.  "Accidentally" falling back asleep after the alarm went off, making me in more of a rush than I'd prefer.  Letting myself believe the myth that there was just nothing in my closet at all to wear...completely false reality.  Dropping the mascara wand on either my face or the alarm clock or the mirror or my pants not once, or twice, but a whopping three times...  Having to change my outfit and looking at the clock that read 9:23 and realizing the 9:30 mass we were planning to go to that takes 15 minutes to get to was probably not going to happen.

"Now, wait," you think, "I thought I was going to read about why you love Sundays?"

Ya, getting to that...

I flat out told my husband as he entered our room, fully dressed, in a jacket, ready to walk out the door at 9:15--"This morning sucks."  Immediately, being the wonderful and patient man he is, Brandon starts searching on his phone for masses in the area that start at 10 so that I don't have to feel so rushed.  Seriously, who deserves a husband this great?

Mass was definitely the avenue which completely changed my day around; as receiving the body, soul, spirit and divinity of Jesus should, of course.  The sermon and music were helpful, too.

Sundays are incredible because somehow they feel more relaxing than Saturdays.  Today, after the revitalization of church, we felt no obligations of time or energy.  We knew we wanted to rent The Help because I had just finished reading it on Friday.  We ended up dedicating much driving time going from RedBox to RedBox finding this particular movie (did I mention my husband in patient?)  At Hy-Vee, we found ourselves buying a "celebratory" dinner to make this evening, including a great bottle of chianti, in gratitude that our offer on a house was accepted.  We also bought frozen loaves of bread. (because this girl has never, ever even attempted making bread, so we figured this was a good place to start!)

Sunday means that we can make coffee without a time schedule, watch a movie (a great one, in fact!) in the middle of the day, and cook dinner together.  Sunday means that the house can be picked up, and snooping around pinterest doesn't bring me guilt.  Sunday means "Once Upon a Time" is on and I can squeal and gasp at the tv for an entire hour.

Thank you, Sunday, for bringing so much joy to this cold apartment of ours.

Life = perspective.

Isn't it true that so often when we are passionate about something--a cause or effort, changing other's minds on a topic, our involvement with a group or organization--it is our current perspective which fuels that passion?


As a first-year student, I vividly remember getting blindsided by the paradigm shift that my individual perspective truly ruled my life.  How I was raised, where I grew up, conversations with friends, sports teams I was part of, classes I took and the many unique experiences of my life truly have an affect on how I view the experiences of daily life now.  Life is like a staircase, each moment building on the last.  At first I actually felt guilty about this, thinking I was somewhat at fault for not considering other perspectives more often. But, really, using perspective is a good thing. (usually!) It allows us to function in our daily lives, use prior knowledge to make decisions, and form opinions.  


This whole perspective things can also make things pretty tricky sometimes, too.  Huge controversies would come about (and often do!) simply because a person's life was filled with certain pieces and missing others.  


Now, as I reread this, it seems like I'm stating very obvious facts that need not even be thought about.  So, why?  Why have I been pondering the fact that life=perspective for a good 8 years now?  Why did it intrigue me so much when I was only four years old to lay in bed at night and ponder how different I would have been had my parents been different, had I lived in a different state.  Why is this notion so powerful to me?


I think it's really an adventure in empathy.  Instead of writing a person off as "stupid" when they respond poorly to a situation or make a bad decision, I want to know what past experiences they've had to push them to think the way that they do.  Instead of assuming I know what a person is going to do, or how they think, I want to consider my own beliefs and feelings and how they got there.  It's empathetic and compassionate to consider perspective instead of relying on judgement.


---------
Admittedly, posted this about a month after I wrote it.  This topic makes me think really hard for a really long time, and even now I know it is only about 10% of my revelings about perspective.  Truly, thought processes like these really can never be finished, because my perspectives will change and I will learn and grow through them. 


And if the humbling process of life-long learning isn't one of life's joys, I'm not sure what is.

Shadows of Joy

Last night was filled with choosing a few wedding pictures to have printed, both for Brandon and I, and for our parents.  As I was flipping through the thousands of pictures (okay...1200: I rounded up) I was filled with so much joy.  Not only did I think back to how extremely happy I felt on our wedding day, I could see the joy on our faces and on the faces of our families and friends.  What a beautiful, inexplicable, overwhelming happiness it was, knowing that I was officially allowed to spend the rest of my life with a man whom I loved, but who also loved and cared for me in ways I didn't know were possible.  A man who made me want to be a better person, just by being near him.  Surely I floated two feet above the ground, taking in a day full of firsts as man and wife, and continue to as we live life together...

Now, there is a song called "Only a Shadow" that was sung at Chapel about a month ago.  The lyrics to this particular song struck me so much that I still find myself thinking about them, at least four weeks later.  It's about how as much as we love, believe, and dream--it can only ever be a shadow of how God loves us, has faith in us, and dreams things up for us.  

The very last verse of the song looks like this:

The joy we feel today, oh Lord 

Is only a shadow of your joys for us. 
Only a shadow of your joys for us 
when we meet face to face.

I think back to my wedding day and the joy I felt as I walked down that red-carpeted aisle lined with our family and closest friends in a lovely white dress towards the man I love. 

And that's only a shadow? Talk about powerful...

I have tried many times to wrap my head around the capacity of joy available when we meet God face to face if my wedding day was simply a shadow of it.  Attempting to imagine what this must feel like is incredibly overwhelming in an amazing way.  This love, this belief, this dream, this joy cannot be attained or even hypothesized while I am still human.  I do believe, though, that the tiny shadows of joy we experience are truly gifts from God and opportunities to share his love with others.  Everything which is good in my life is just a shadow of what can be in store for me when I meet Him face to face.


...what joy, indeed.

So much new.

It is crazy for me to contemplate how drastically my life has changed in the last 6 months, and also how incredible positive each change has been.  This life makeover was not something I planned for or anticipated, but it has been so welcome and refreshing.


In the last six months I:
1. Moved to a new city in a new state where I knew less than 10 people total.
2. Lived truly alone for the first time in my life.
3. Was more bored than I ever remember feeling.  This was during the month period that I was unemployed.  While I did read a lot and decompress from my previous, very challenging job, I also realized the intensity of my love for human interaction and contact.  I am most definitely more of a people-oriented person than a task-oriented person and felt the ramifications of that during this month period.
4. Started two new jobs.
5. Worked my first ever retail job @ the Gap.
6. Landed a position in my all-time dream career at an incredibly forward-thinking, friendly school with many   opportunities.  
7. Began seeing a chiropractor.
8. Planned a wedding.
9. Got married to the love on my life, propelling my bliss even further into the atmosphere :)
10. Changed my name.
11. Tripled number of family members.
12. Moved in with a boy.
13. Traveled to a new continent and 2 new countries!
14. Ate escargot.
15. Paid off my car loan.
16. Made minestrone soup.

Wow.  What a crazy, beautiful few months it has been.  Even though it was quite the whirlwind, I love how it's settling in and look forward to finding new amid the comfort of each day.


Live with joy,

Danielle

Inaugural Address

Well hello, world.


After much consideration, deliberation, negotiation, and meditation, I have decided to become an official member of the blogging world.  I hope to use this as a place to give my thoughts and reflections space to marinate...a way to have a sounding board of sorts as well as to document what my current struggles and joys are.


Throughout my life I have always attempted to find the best in everything: people, situations, my surroundings.  At times I succeed and at times I fail miserably: I do believe that bliss is a perception and a choice, however.  That a person must be willing to stretch their mind in every circumstance and believe that it is all part of a journey of joy.


I look forward to sharing the various happenings on this humble journey God blesses me with.