7 Quick Takes about sleeping like a baby, the weekend forecast, and fears

1. My child is a nap-striker. Which would be just fine if I didn't want to read or write or bake or nap or work or sit and stare out the window...
As I rock and bounce and shhsh him for at least an hour a day, I'm always left wondering, "Should I just try cry it out?" But then I start thinking about him standing in his crib (because he does not stay laying if he's not soundly asleep) and reaching for the door and crying and I just can't bring myself to do it. I always wonder though...what if he actually isn't feeling good? How can you tell the difference between a baby who is fighting sleep and a baby who genuinely needs his momma?

Funny thing is, I guiltlessly let him cry when I need to take a shower...

2. Speaking of sleep, we've had a few rough nights around these parts. My 10 month old has indeed slept through the night before but now is waking up at least twice per night and usually one of the times he's up for a good hour. Ugh. It feels like we're dancing and he's leading and if I do something wrong he crys.

Bounce bounce bounce with his head in the crook of my left arm, on his side, while sshsh, sshsh, sshshing and then sway sway sway, little bounce, little bounce, sway sway, little bounce, sway sway sway sway, little bounce, sshsh sshsh, stand perfectly still and then little bounce, little bounce, sway, still still...until he's so sound asleep he's snoring. And then I gently lower him towards the mattress and those little eyes "pop!" open, back arching, waiiiilll. Back to the bounce bounce bounce...there was one night where I literally tried 10 times to lay him down.

And, yes, I have most definitely tried to lay him in his crib awake but then there's just screaming and gnashing of tooth (because he only has one!). I've tried to lay him down and sit next to the crib, I've tried holding his hand or rubbing his back or even rubbing his feet...

Truly the only thing that works is saying Hail Marys until he falls asleep and stays there when I lay him down.

I should also mention that this isn't an every night occurrence and I'm not feeling desperately tired or weary or anything...truly I should just stop complaining and remember it is indeed a baby whom I've been blessed with caring for. He surely won't be a baby for long and so it's pretty much a gift that I get to hang out with this little baby in the middle of the night....right?

3. Oh! And he (finally) has a tooth! It only took him ten loooong months, six of which we were positive his fussiness or having trouble sleeping "must just be teething..."  Why, yes, we are first time parents, why?

4. This weekend's weather doesn't exactly look....promising. -25 for the "RealFeel"? I think that means that the RealFeel for my weekend will be 71, because I don't want to leave my house. But, to look on the sunny side, this must be one of the last frigidly cold weekends we have, right!? I mean...the Polar Vortex will need to move on and visit other planets soon, right?! This arctic weather definitely makes me anticipate spring that much more. Think of how much we're going to enjoy it once it hits even 50 degrees. I'm positive you will see people sunbathing and running in shorts...

5. Lent begins on Wednesday and Brandon and I have been discussing what we'd like to do together this year to prepare ourselves and our souls for Easter. Our #1 goal is to be upstairs by 9pm so that we're asleep by 10. For some reason it always takes us right around an hour to get ready for bed. What is wrong with us? Well, actually it's because this is when we get in the bulk of our chatting for the day. Which leads to our #2 goal: no smartphoning after 9pm. Both will be quite the challenge for us.

6. Yesterday I blogged about FUDs and how they can get in the way of positive thinking and living in the present moment. We all struggle with FUDs. Can you think of a fear, uncertainty, or doubt you're experiencing right at this moment in life? 

Now here's a little inspiration for your weekend. What I want you to do is take the next minute and a half to watch the video below. Overcome that wolf within--you can do it!

7. Happy last Friday of Ordinary Time! Feel free to indulge all weekend and party like it's Fat Tuesday! ;)

Today's post is linked to Jen twice (and has anyone else ever noticed that her link-ups are all about the number 7?!) Number 5 for 7 posts, 7 days and an addition to the 7 Quick Takes link-up.

Snow and my "sunny" side

I am absolutely an optimist. And most of the time it's really not on purpose. Where some people's thoughts immediately jump to the negative aspect of a situation, typically mine head straight for the positive. I've come in contact with people who aren't so thrilled by this personality trait of mine: rolling of eyes or giving me a blank stare when I point out the "sunny" side of an otherwise displeasing situation.

And so I surprised myself yesterday when the first good snowfall of the season put me in a serious funk. I was not impressed, to say the least.

It started snowing shortly after I woke up. Really it was somewhere between rain and sleet at first. No big deal. Then there were flurries. Weird...I didn't know it was supposed to snow. The flurries turned into big flakes and the flakes came down, at times heavily, for the better part of two hours! There was snow covering the ground and not melting quickly. And suddenly I felt myself panic. Snow?! But it's only November.

I stood by our back door with Silas in tow and watched as the big, beautiful flakes of November snow hit our deck and stick. But I couldn't muster a single optimistic thought. It's accumulating? My freaking out increases, as does Silas' intrigue. What.the.heck? (as heard on instagram) I was not emotionally prepared for snow.

But why should I need to be? Where did my "make the best of every situation" disposition run off to when I needed it most? For the first 25 years of my life snow incited a feeling of excitement and anticipation for me. I have always loved snow, no matter how early or late or surprising it was. So what happened?

As much as I am an optimist, I am also an extrovert. Although I've known this for a long time--being dubbed "gregarious" as a child and scoring an "E" when taking the MBTI in college--I've been realizing lately just how much of my energy comes from interactions with others.

Answer: a lot.

I find that I'm so exhausted on the nights where I haven't interacted with anyone except Silas. He's really great, a fantastically happy baby, but he just can't carry on any sort of recognizable conversation. I'm pretty short with Brandon when he gets home from work if I haven't been out all day. It's like I need conversations to have conversations. And although I prefer chatting in person (over a large cup of coffee...), I feel refreshed being able to talk on the phone with a friend or even just texting or having a convo on gchat! Pretty sure I might die within just a few days if I was ever relegated to solitary confinement.

So why did I freak the heck out as the snow fell to the ground? Because this year the impending cold weather season means more than the beauty it brings. This year I'm home with my beautiful babe. It's so much harder to trek out in winter weather when you have a sidekick and I'm nervous that it will leave me feeling cooped  up in the house. I'm anxious that it will lessen my chances at consistent adult conversation and leave me feeling exhausted with a side of cabin fever. I don't like losing my optimism, but that's the side effect when the extrovert in my doesn't get what she needs--a daily dose of people.

Around noon yesterday the snow stopped, but it was still brutally cold outside (for November, anyway). Although I had a few errands to run in mind, it just seemed like a lot of work to get the baby all bundled up, to take him in and out of the car seat multiple times. "Stupid snow" and "stupid winter" were the thoughts that alerted me that something was definitely going on...

Sometime between when it started to snow and noon, I had lost my "sunny" side. I realized, though, that getting out of the house was exactly what I needed to get my optimism back. Human interaction, even if just via the cashiers I'd see, would allow me to more easily see snow as I always had in the past; not something to complain about, but as something that is beautiful and induces excitement for the season. Off we went, bundled baby and all. And I have to say, the day got sunnier indeed.

Our Healer

Below you will find the "script" for my talk in Chapel yesterday. They say you only write about what you know...this week, I must say, I preached what I myself needed to hear. 

     Will I be able to handle that? What if someone is better at it than I am? This is going to be so hard! What’s the use? Should I even try to overcome this? 
It never fails that when we’re facing a problem or even an upcoming event in our lives, a little voice creeps into our head, questioning whether we really are capable; wondering if we’ll really be able to do what we’ve set out to do and wrapping ourselves in doubt. Many times even in areas of our lives where there aren’t any huge problems, fears, doubts and anxieties find a way of becoming present right along with feelings of excitement, gratitude, or success. 
Throughout Mark’s gospel we hear about Jesus’ ministry of healing. As I read a passage from Mark 1:29-39, think about the ways in which you may need healing in your own life. 

“And immediately after they came out of the synagogue, they came into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was lying sick with a fever; and immediately they spoke to Jesus about her. And He came to her and raised her up, taking her by the hand, and the fever left her, and she waited on them. 
When evening came, after the sun had set, they began bringing to Him all who were ill and those who were demon-possessed. And the whole city had gathered at the door. And He healed many who were ill with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and He was not permitting the demons to speak, because they knew who He was. 
In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. Simon and his companions searched for Him; they found Him, and said to Him, “Everyone is looking for You.” He said to them, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.” And He went into their synagogues throughout all Galilee, preaching and casting out the demons.” 

     This passage speaks of Jesus healing those people who come to him. In context of the book of Mark, this passage is preceded and followed by other stories of miraculous healings by our Lord. Jesus cures a demoniac, calling the unclean spirit out of a man in the passage prior to the one I read and cures both a leper and a paralytic in the verses following the passage. It concludes by telling us that he “drove out demons” throughout the whole of Galilee. Mark’s Gospel, although the shortest of the gospels, vividly tells us many details about Jesus’ public ministry. It proclaims the good news that Jesus himself is the son of God who was sent to rescue humanity by serving and eventually sacrificing his life for us. Although perhaps a burden at times, He took great joy in serving his people. 
     In verses 29-39, we heardthat people began bringing all who were ill to Jesus after the sun had set. Then, Jesus was up “very early before dawn” and went out to a deserted place to pray. While we don’t know how far Jesus’ deserted place was from Capernaum, it’s obvious that he was seeking to have time alone with His holy father. We find, however, that Simon and the other disciples seek out Jesus in this deserted place and tell him that “Everyone is looking for you.” What this means is that even though he had been up very late healing people, the people of Galilee are up very early the next morning, already eager to have an encounter with Jesus, so much so that they find his disciples and insist on them finding him and bringing him back. These people recognized that they needed healing and had the full expectation that Jesus was the man who could take care of them. 
     Are we eager in bringing our own concerns to the Lord? Do we expect that he will heal us of our anxieties? The Galileans give us such a good example for being eager about the Word of God and having expectant faith. Mother in laws sick? Go to Jesus! Friend has a demon? Find Jesus! Dealing with leprosy? Where’s Jesus? In our lives, these “demons” and “leprosy” may look a little bit like anxiety over midterms, an unhealthy relationship in our life, financial burdens, and other personal concerns. 
     When thinking about how to break the fever of the problems in your life, what do you do first? I know that I wish I could say I eagerly seek out God’s word and expect that whatever concern I bring to Him, he will control. Truly, though, I’m not sure I’ve fully allowed that to happen in every area of my life. Even the demons have faith in Jesus and are pulled out of the ones they’re possessing because, as it says in verse 34, “he drove out many demons, not permitting them to speak because they knew him.” The demons themselves know and believe in Jesus! How much more should we as Christians have faith in Jesus? If Jesus is willing to help his followers in all that they ask, traveling for days, preaching and driving out demons through the whole of Galilee, why wouldn’t He do the same for us? We need to allow Him to be our Healer, bring any and all troubles to Him with the full expectation that He’s got it from here. 
     How would your life be different if you treated Jesus as your Healer in all things, whether that be preparing for your next speech, getting ready for your next big game, dealing with a “demon” that helps you forget your problems, such as alcohol, or having a difficult conversation with a friend? As Christians, we expect that our prayers will be answered, even if the answer is “No.” 
     Now, I say all of this knowing that often I find myself believing that my problems are too small for God, that I only need to step up and deal with them, be strong, quit being such a worrier... When I was in college, this belief was challenged when I read a reflection on 1st Corinthians 1:29-30 which says “so that no human being might boast before God… ‘Whoever boast, should boast in the Lord.’” Paul uses this expression to remind us that we cannot claim to be autonomous, we are not, and never will be, saved by our own resources. This is so easy to forget because of the way we are encouraged to live. We’ve grown up in a society that tells us to always do our best, get ahead any way we can, and fend for ourselves. We’ve been taught that independence is to be strived for at all costs, that you need to be good at something to do it at all. While it is worth it to be reminded that we cannot take credit for the good in our lives, it is so important that we remember that we also cannot keep our doubts and anxieties to ourselves. Looking internally for solutions and relief will push us only further into our problems—we’re not supposed to deal with them alone. Instead, we must expectantly bring them to our Healer, to the One who knows our hearts, to the one who sacrificed his life for our salvation. 
     Right now I’d like you to take a moment and pretend that Jesus himself is sitting here in front of you. Imagine the expression on his face, his eagerness to hear from you and his yearning to serve his people, his willingness to listen. Now picture yourself physically placing your fears and doubts and anxieties into his lap, giving them fully to Him, expecting that He’s got them from here. You are welcome to place as many of these as you want, forever, right there in His lap. Carefully revel in how it feels to place each doubt and anxiety there, in the place where they belong. Expect that they will be taken care of, because He’s got it from here. Now picture yourself laying your head in Jesus’ lap, putting yourself in a place where he can heal you, where he can cure your sickness, drive out the demons of your life. It is here that we, as Christians, are free to dwell. We, just like the Galileans, are welcome and called to eagerly and expectantly find that place often, within all of the various pockets of our lives. 
  
Thanks for reading,
Danielle