Saying "Yes"

I often think too much and have mini revelations along the way. Then I share these revelations with someone, usually Brandon or my mom, and it dawns on me how terribly obvious they are.  God speaks to us in simple ways, no?

So what's the latest simple thought?  The intensity of one little "yes." (or, in my case, "of course!")--that we had no idea what the future would hold when we decided to get married. (duh, right?)

Over the weekend I was looking at some of our engagement photos.  The guestbook at our wedding included photos from our engagement session, and this book sits on a table in our living room so it is easy to glance through them every now and then.  Although they were taken only 3 years ago, it is so amazing to me how much has changed since then.  It's incredible how much our love has grown (and even multiplied with Silas' introduction to our little family!), how many laughs and jokes have come about, how many experiences we've gone through together. day in and day out.

Brandon proposed on our one year anniversary of knowing one another.  Although I wasn't expecting it, per se, I sure was hoping!  He took me to my favorite bridge (doesn't everyone have a favorite?) on a very cold frigid January 1st.  I am someone who is always cold.  The air conditioner can be set at 73, and I will be cold.  So as you can imagine, I wasn't all that thrilled to be taking a walk on the Riverwalk on January 1st, and Brandon was hearing about it.  I couldn't feel my feet or my cheeks and I thought we had gone far enough to commemorate our first date, which took place on this very Riverwalk.  Brandon didn't think so and insisted we just go to the bridge and back.  I complained, but we carried on, mitten-in-glove.  When we got to this favorite bridge of mine, Brandon made some small talk and then hugged me tightly.  Next he commented on how pretty the river looked, making me turn away from him.  When I turned back around he was on one knee and I really have no idea what all he said, but I know it was lovely and ended with "Will you marry me?"  I exclaimed "Of course!" with tears in my eyes.  We joke that we're not sure if it was because of how cold I was or how excited I was, because I do not cry often.

It's incredible how in that moment, then and there, I committed my life to him, to our life together. Now obviously sometimes engagements are broken off and saying "yes" to a proposal doesn't hold a flame to speaking your wedding vows, which promise your life "in good times and bad" to your spouse.  When Brandon proposed, though, then and there on the spot I was willing to say yes to all of our tomorrows.

As I look at our engagement pictures, I had this funny revelation that I said yes despite being blind to the future.  On that day, I could have never dreamed up our first-born, Silas, and yet here he is--an integral part of our lives for the rest of our lives.  Even right now I can't dream of what our family might look like in 10 years, what other little souls will be so much the focus of our lives.  On January 1st, 2011, when he pulled out that gorgeous ring, I said yes to really rough days, and hurt feelings, disappointments and disagreements, living far from family, and dealing with the many, many other things that will happen to us.  I also said yes to my vocation, to more joy than I could ever imagine, to many giggle fits and deep late-night conversations. Because that yes meant I would go through sickness and health with him.  It's incredible how risky this sounds, when you think about it logically.  But what I also said "yes" to was how I knew I felt about him.  I knew, right then and there, that I would be able to navigate life's rocky waters a little more gracefully if Brandon was co-captain of the boat.

So today, as it becomes a sliver clearer how much I really committed to in saying "of course," I am grateful that he is the man who got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife, even if it is obvious how very little we know about what the future holds for us.

~Danielle