The best toys aren't toys.

So if you follow me on Instagram this post is going to be bore-ing and somewhat redundant. If you don't, read on and you will see the kinds of things that are a ten month olds fave things ever. (hint: they're not toys!)

Yes, even chins make fabulous playthings...

Other un-toys of note: cardboard, eyeglasses, fake trees, wooden spoons, air vent, fingers, pot lids, antennas, chairs, knobs, pencils, fireplaces, remotes, and blinds.

I realize that having posts full of pictures is treating this like a photo album instead of a blog. I'm aware of the situation and will rectify it at my earliest convenience. --Management

Today's post is number 2 for 7 posts, 7 days. To read (much) better ones, visit Jen!

The Blame Game

Lately I haven't been blogging as frequently as I'd like. So that I don't have to take responsibility, below are what I choose to blame my lack of writing on:

Mostly, though, is this guy:

In attempts to rectify my lack of posting, which obviously isn't my fault at all, I've chosen to join Jen and more than 275 others and participate in 7 posts, 7 days. 

If you like hearing from me, you're in for a treat of a week! Subscribe via email or bloglovin' or feedly or whathaveyou and wait anxiously at your keyboard because there's 6 more posts coming atcha! If you're not interested in following my random thoughts throughout the week, you may want to take me off of your feedly for a little while...

Happy Monday!

Christian Community: Part 2

Last month I posted about Christian Community, what it is and a few examples Brandon and I have experienced. We have experienced the fruits of community in our engagement and on our wedding day, and have come to know that we are called to bring one another closer to the Lord through embracing our marriage as a Christian Community.

We met at the Fellowship of Catholic University Students Conference in 2010. You can read more about that here. What’s interesting is the place we were each at in our lives when we traveled down to Orlando:

Brandon was two years out of college, meeting with a spiritual advisor and discerning his vocation.

I was in my senior year of college and had just started dating a guy who was completely wrong for me, out of a selfish desperation to be dating someone.

At the time Brandon was feeling like the priesthood might be for him. When his sister, Justine, invited him to attend the conference, he knew going could be a great way to continue his discernment and grow deeper in faith.

When my friend Sara asked if I’d go, I also know it would be a great way to grow in faith and was really hoping to get concrete answers to some of the “big questions” about the Catholic Church that I kept being asked and asking myself.

Brandon would tell you that he was specifically going with the intention of determining what his vocation was…

And, well, I definitely got my answers and he definitely found his vocation!

The next year was full of weekends behind the wheel and evenings on the phone. About six months after meeting we had this super intense, up until 2 am conversation which included defining what we thought we wanted our lives to look like years from now, Christ’s in our relationship, and whether we thought our country boy and suburb girl lives could ever truly match up. Brandon came to the conclusion that maybe they didn’t and I reassured him that yes, they would. We were instantly both more serious about where our relationship was headed. It was also right around this time that we began praying together, mostly over the phone at the end of each day. This pinpoints when our relationship became a community. Although we had talked about our faith extensively, it was at this time that I knew I could lean on him, make myself vulnerable to him. Brandon accepted me for who I was; even if it happened to include an abundance of flaws and hot mess of figuring out quite a challenging year of my life!

I can vividly remember laying in my bed in Kansas City, propping my phone between the pillow and my ear so that I could have my hands folded and still hear him. It was incredible how the simple act of praying together felt so intimate and also so comforting. We were in this life thing together, through sufferings and tribulations and joys.

By October we danced around the topic of a pretty little thing that would fit on my left hand. Exactly one year after meeting Brandon, he proposed and, of course, I said yes. We really wanted to keep our eyes on the prize of marriage and avoid getting caught up/obsessed about the logistics of the wedding day. While I have to admit that I really luh-ove planning events and definitely enjoyed all things wedding planning, we frequently had conversations about how life would be when we were married, how we would deal with arguments and chores and all the other mundane, not-so-romantic parts of having a spouse. We read a few books together, met with the Deacon at the parish we were to be wed, and attended a day-long retreat through the Diocese. Because we were planning for a wedding but focused on preparing for a vocation.

On our wedding day we had two very powerful examples revealing how necessary and beneficial a community steeped in Christ is to the success of our marriage.

First of all: the photos. Around our guestbook sat framed pictures of our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents on their wedding days. “Because they loved one another first” was the reminder that we could not have reached this day, the one signifying our love for and commitment to one another, without the people before us. Without the influence of this community, we would not be who we are today, nor would we be fit to begin life together.

During dinner, in which I ate almost nothing and Brandon ate almost two plates full, we took a moment to look from table to table, reflecting on how many of our dear family and friends were present. Never again would we be in a room with so many people we cared so dearly for: we could physically see each of the many communities we’d been part of gathering together—all to celebrate us! I remember feeling both overwhelmed and humbled at how much God has blessed us by the people in our lives. It was, and just the thought of it continues to be, such a powerful testament to the importance of community.

Although cliché, Christian community begins at home. It was first within the confines of our own little apartment, in the sacrifices and joys of living together, in the conversations about who does the dishes “right” and who’s turn it is anyway, that our community was being built. Word by word and action by action and dish by dish. Remembering that no community is perfect, I am so blessed and proud and humbled by the little one we’ve built.

We try to use a passage from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians as a set of guidelines for being part of a Christian Community:

“Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor. Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, on your part, live at peace with all.”

You may want to take a minute to recognize the communities in your life that follow Paul’s guidelines shared above. What are you particular gifted at? Are there some communities which would benefit from following them more closely?

Although we have so much more to learn and experience, there are a few lessons Brandon and I have been grateful to experience in our short time of being married that I’ll be sharing Christian Community: Part 3. 

In a place I didn't know was there.

So I'm sure everyone has already heard this song, but a friend of mine just posted When I'm With You by JJ Heller on facebook and I just think it's so sweet.

A voice as smooth as butter and lyrics as sweet as pie makes for a delicious little snack of a song. :)

7 Quick Takes: Wait, it's Friday?

Oh my gosh, it's Friday again? Someone explain how this happened. Maybe if I rehash what happened this week, I'll remember how we got here.

Shall we?

-1-
Monday was a rough, rough day. I think I'd like to forget it happened at all and just pretend it was a normal, nothing new kinda day. Although I feel more patient for it and think I needed to go through a few good hours of ear-piercing baby noises to increase my tolerance. or something.

-2-
Tuesday, however, was pretty fantastical (what kind of day wouldn't be in comparison to it's predecessor?) Got to hang out with my Park Mamas, aka a lovely group of women who all also have babies under 2 and totally understand shrill screaming and teething and sleeping intermittently. C.S. Lewis got it right when he said: 

It's incredible how quickly i came to trust in them and benefit from their friendship. We are all way more than knee-deep, probably neck-deep, in going through and overcoming similar situations with our littles and it is wonderful to be part of this lovely little community.

-3-

This was the week of satin and chiffon and lace. I, along with my fashion coach, went to three different bridal boutiques this week. The fashion coach in question happens to be 9 months old and very into mirrors and all things sparkly, so basically he was thoroughly entertained. Who knew that boutiques provided the perfect setting for sensory play? We were accompanied by my lovely friend and bride-to-be and the hunt was on for a bridesmaid dress for yours truly and a wedding dress for the bride. By yesterday afternoon we had found success on all fronts! Her dress is absolutely stunning and if she was aiming to remind her fiance that he's the luckiest guy in the world as she floats down the aisle, she'll definitely achieve it. 

The bride-to-be at hand is kind enough to let her bridesmaids choose any dress from a particular line, as long as it's in this beautiful, rich purple color. This means we each get to pick something that fits our style and our body type, and we happen to get to order it in my favorite color. Well then, don't mind if I do! ;)

-4-

I got bit by a bug over the weekend...the crafty bug. At least it wasn't the travel bug because we really can't go anywhere right now. And so I looked around our house and decided to fulfill our need of coasters. I had made them in the past for a Secret Santa gift and so was excited to make some for myself.

-5-

Does anyone else have a stash of craft stuff that is completely unorganized? I have a whole big box of supplies left over from past projects such as buckets of buttons, extra yarn, lots of scrapbook paper, beads, glue, stamps, paint, etc., etc. Much of it still lives in it's original Hobby Lobby bag, accidentally organized into materials needed for specific projects. My husband actually calls this stash my "crap" box instead of craft box. pfft. 

While I know where everything is in the craft box, it isn't the most neat way to keep things. Anyone have suggestions for organizing such miscellany?

-6-

Baby boy took quite the tumble today and it made me feel like a horrible mom. The vision of him falling is running on repeat in my brain and I can't seem to make it go away. He's okay and happy and just has a little bump on his head to show for it but it could have been real bad...Geez, this mom stuff comes with baggage.

Yes, it's a blurry iPhone photo but it's proof that he's happy.                  

-7-

Well, that was a nice way to remembered what I did this week. And it only took oooh, 6 hours ago to actually write this post. Life with a small child!

Oh, and you should probably know that the 2014 Sheenazing Awards are being hosted by Bonnie over at a Knotted Life right now. She's probably the best emcee for an awards show, ever (watch out, Tina Fey!) If you want to meet a ton of amazing bloggers and maybe quadruple the length of your Bloglovin'/feedly following list, you probably need to check them out. And right now you can even vote!

Have a great weekend and check out other quick takers for more fun, fun, fun.

Screams of Grace

Today was such a Monday, ifyouknowwhatImean.

It was a day where everything felt just.plain.off.

It started off normally as ever. Hubs was nice enough to take our little man downstairs at 5:30 when he woke up so that I could sleep a little longer. This, my friends is proof of true love and my personal piece of heaven is sleeping until 6am. After "sleeping in," I showered in anticipation of a meeting later this morning and dried off in time to kiss my love goodbye and scoop up the child as he pulled folded shirts out of the laundry basket.

Around 7:30 all of baby's signs pointed towards "I'm extremely tired": Rubbing of eyes, yawwwns, slowed movement. But what I had on my hands was a nap striker, with wailing and gnashing of teeth when I set him in the crib. After an hour of nursing and rocking and sound machine and bouncing and shhsh-ing and laying in crib and tip-toeing out and screaming and patting and soothing and repeat...I was done and so was he.

So downstairs we came. Lo and behold it's 8:30am. I recalled a time when I would sleep this late, sometimes on weekdays, and today I wished that I was still in bed...that this was some sort of eardrum-ringing dream.

That meeting I was supposed to attend at 9 got changed to a phone call. I just knew that eating and changing and bundling and driving were just not going to happen quickly. Especially because the little boy in my life continued to scream like a pterodactyl every 30 seconds.

What an understanding co-worker I have. I hurry over to the computer to glance at the plans we're discussing and set my sweet little man next to me with some toys. His favorite toys aren't toys at all, though, and as I sprung towards him to redirect his attention, he pulled a plug from the wall. The plug that runs to the computer. I strap him in his swing, hoping that maybe this exhausted child will take a quick cat nap. He screams, little pterodactyl, you. But I get the computer booted back up hold him and bounce him throughout the call and he's grabby-grabby at all things we come within two feet of, but also happy-happy.

The next two hours are grueling for me, emotionally. Because this screaming of his isn't pleasant and isn't stopping and each one seems to linger on my nerves, each one makes my jaw clench a little bit tighter, like a wrench around a screw, and my patience slips away little by little. I feel my neck and shoulders becoming tense and my empathy for this helpless screamer lessens. And then I wonder what sort of mom I am anyway, allowing myself to become angry at this precious child who needs me. My mind is racing from "Please stop crying" to "Be more patient" to "Just calm down" to "Why don't I know what he needs?"

I realize it's time to change the environment, it's time to get out of this cell of screams and go somewhere else. He's always calm in the car and I need human contact, I need to see other people and remember they exist and recenter myself. Because this whole "Monday" business, this whole "bad day" vibe...that's all on me. I can choose my reactions, I have the ability to change my thoughts. And I know that when I can't do it alone, I have the power to make choices which will lead to the desired outcome of feeling sane. In this case patience with, and for, a little man who needs me. He needs my care and my patience and my love and he can only have those things if I give them to myself first. 

I lost sight of the big picture and got stuck in a moment that took a lot of emotional energy, letting myself feel overwhelmed and angry at what I had to deal with. As I drove around and did errands, talked it through with my mom, and hubs, and especially as I sat in the Target parking lot for 20 minutes, letting my sweet boy sleep, I was reminded how patient the Lord is with me. Even when I am ignoring it, God's grace is available if I am only willing to accept. God is there when this baby's scream scratches at my eardrums and it is in accepting His graces that I can find patience, that I can find holiness in this vocation of motherhood. Because, as St. Therese so beautifully shows us in her autobiography, God is found in both the beauty of life and also in it's problems and irritations. We can grow in grace by choosing to turn our irritations into prayers.

It continued to be a Monday. I walked right out of Target, put my now-smiling baby boy into the car, pushed the cart to the corral and...left the box of diapers I bought on the bottom of the cart. Drove all the way home, and then noticed, so back we went! Baby boy didn't nap more than twenty minutes this afternoon. I wasn't able to read my devotion today. I put in the labor of making scones and received tasteless, unrecoverable "fruit". And now it's ten o'clock and my To-Do list for today remains untouched.

But, I have to say, today wasn't a lost cause: I experienced God's grace--and don't we everyday? Upon returning from our outing of errands, frustration dissipated and calm returned. The combination of praying and reflecting and seeing the sunlight (and maybe that mini cookie dough Blizzard from DQ) really had the power to turn around a day.

Little man and I spent this afternoon on the living room floor. I watched as he explored, discovering that the fireplace door opens and giggling as he swung it back and forth. I learned something today I couldn't have learned any other way: when irritations present themselves, as they surely will, I can't make them go away with anger or try to face them alone. Instead I canA use them as a way to become more patient and grow in faithfulness to our Lord.

Quick Review: Divergent by Veronica Roth

You've probably already heard about this widely popular Young Adult novel which is the basis for the movie of the same name coming out this spring. The hype around it is exactly why I decided to put it on my To Be Read in 2014 list.

I understand why it's a YA Bestseller: it's a page-turner with a poignant plot, just the right amount of love story woven throughout, and is definitely thought-provoking. While I didn't want to put it down unless I knew that I'd be able to pick it up again rather quickly, rooting for the characters on one page and questioning their motives on the next, I found myself wishing it delved a little bit deeper, that the writing was a little bit more descriptive and reflective, that the character development was just a little bit stronger. There were also a few scenes of intense violence that left me feeling conflicted, hoping that it would be justified later, but never finding that satisfaction.

Overall I'd say I enjoyed this book and am glad I read it, as it was challenging to my own belief structure and made me question what'd I would do in a society such as this. I'd recommend Divergent, especially with it coming out in theaters in the near future and something so many people are reading, but don't expect it to be as good as some of the other YA dystopian novels out there right now.